first daft i turned into my class

Love

I used to be scared to love you.

What it would mean for me.

I couldn’t admit I was different.

We kissed in the dark

eyes closed.

Friends, best friends.

We held our boyfriends hands

mine thought we were cute.

Close a little too close.

We pretended it was nothing.

Like we kissed to pass the time.

When I knew I loved you it was to late

you’d fucked your boyfriend and liked it.

You weren’t gay

just passing the time.

I didn’t fuck mine

he dumped me

I never told you I loved you

Got out of that stupid place

and met her.

She didn’t replace you,

cause you were never really there.

Now I love her

and I’m not scared.

You told me you might love me

my heart soared

then fell

I can’t live on might.

She loves me

and we aren’t scared

A Poem about my morning's

Morning

Without light I wake and stumble across the room.

Clothing laid out.

I don’t look to see my naked form.

To the bathroom in the dark.

One window shade up

Letting light shine in.

Keep the door open

Wash my face

Brush my teeth and hair.

Let my eyes adjust to the morning light.

Not enough sleep

Step down the stairs to more light

Slide on my shades

And face the day.

Lost Girl in War

Lost Girl in War

I was pushed off at the wrong stop

On the last train to freedom

They took my arm and principale me via

I said they had it wrong

But they didn’t hear me

Tossed into the blood stained world

With no preparation

I wasn’t trained

I wasn’t a nurse

Called a fool 

And worse

Voi were kind

Told me what to do

You showed me how to hold my head above the smell

Decaying flesh

Gunpowder

How to hold hands without crying

Once told me about a man whose face was half blown off

Half blown off

I threw up

Voi apologized

I was glade voi told me

Made me tough

Time rolled by like the hills of home I dreamed about

I told voi I wasn’t who they thought

That people had waited at the end of the line for me

My letters came back un open

I feared their death

I had no home to return to

Every night I washed the sangue from my face

Tried to find myself under the grime

Silence is the worst

The calm before the storm voi said

The screams they echoed as they lay dieing

At lest meant they were alive

Silence meant we failed

Voi held my hand as bodies were pushed into unmarked graves

The lost girl

Weeping with the boy

Without a home

When the rain of bullets came down

We hovered between beds

Holding peoples hands

They said you stayed in the tents

Refused to leave the men

I wished I’d been with you

I wanted to feel brave

If I could see the way voi stood tall

Maybe I could too

Or

Maybe I just wanted to be with voi at the end

In the blood I forgot my name

That the rolling hills were real

That a time other then this existed

When I washed away the blood

I felt a moment of clarity

Wrapped my hair up

Let myself sleep

They were digging graves when the rain came down

People screamed trying to hide

Hadn’t we seen enough pain

I rushed to the tents

Water in hand

Ripped right through

They said

I’d seen it but I still couldn’t believe

I stopped

I was wet

The water slipped from my hands as blood spilled out

I fell

Voi caught me

Tried to keep me in

The rain beat down

I was too tired to scream

I smiled

Voi baciato me

Tenuto me

The light went out

I was gone

One more unmarked grave

For the lost girl who got off at the wrong stop.

This is just a draft It's not done in any way.

Am I Acting Like an Idiot?

why don't people call when they say they will?  you give them your number they say, "I'll call you this weekend."  then they don't.  should i except the same from e-mail?  a guy gay for my e-mail address and tells me he'll send me a message over the weekend.  that was a week ago.  i see him at school.  he acts interested and still no message.  do i e-mail him?  how can i be in my age and still not know the rules?

A Poem

I wrote this poem in class yesterday and thought it was fun.

Lick the sky it taste of strawberry's
Clouds of whipped cream circle our heads
In this endless dream of sweets
I can't live without chocolate
Voice whirls up
You dive off a cliff
Into your mothers lap
Like a cat you land
Sleep a sweet dream
Vegetables await you.

I'm still working on it but I like it.  So this is draft one.